


I won't let go

by lourrygum



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Dirty Talk, Jealous Ashton, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 16:41:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7852984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lourrygum/pseuds/lourrygum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>" "What the hell is going on?" He asks, folding his arms. Michael swallows, staring at the ground, the bitter feeling of regret slowly flooding his system. He'd never exactly been a subtle person, even when he was trying. And tonight he certainly wasn't trying. He'd thrown all caution to the wind, flirted outrageously with Luke, who had of course, being the affectionate person Michael knows him to be, flirted right back. "</p><p>or, the one where michael gets fed up of being treated like ashtons platonic best friend despite the fact that the have sex on almost a daily basis</p>
            </blockquote>





	I won't let go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [irwah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/irwah/gifts).



> I've been writing this for the better part of this summer and I finally finished it so I'm kind of proud.
> 
> This fic wouldn't exist if not for [Dani](http://cashtontrash.tumblr.com/) and her Fic Ideas so you can all blame her and also, [Aliisa](http://metalgr3ymon.tumblr.com/) for her continuous encouragement :')
> 
> ALSO i feel like the title seems really deep but its just from Cold Water by jbiebs rip

From the very first time they met Ashton, Michael had been blown away by how relaxed and collected he could be. He’d seen it in movies, seen TV characters that never seemed to be fazed, that took any problems they went through in their stride, their brains immediately computing the next solution instead of doing the normal thing and flipping their shit. People who had confidence and responsibility radiating from every pore in their muscled bodies. People who never even seemed to drop something by accident.

He’d never seen it in person, though, until he met Ashton.

He says “he”, as if it was a private experience, when really it was their whole band, consisting of only 3 members then that had been equally flabbergasted at Ashton’s aura, or whatever. From their very first meeting with him, he had called them out on one, Not having an official Facebook page for their band, two, Not even having a proper name for their band which was the main reason for three, Not having booked a proper gig yet.

Ashton had whipped them into shape within _weeks_ , writing out a rehearsal timetable of when they’d meet in Michael’s garage, as well as printed out fliers for their new band. Slowly but quite surely, things started to take shape. And the thing is, none of them even minded. Three headstrong teenagers with huge dreams that they’d been nursing since they were kids – it shouldn’t have been that easy to trust this dimpled stranger to lead them on the right path.

But it was super fucking easy.

Ashton earned their affection with little to no effort, the other less-business-like side of him making itself very well-known whenever they all hung out. Everyone liked him, that much was obvious. But Michael allowing himself to _actually_ start to like him, more than his two friends? Nobody’s fault but his own.

 

-

 

“Bullshit.” Luke calls, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, getting into their daily TV debate. “ _Obviously_ , Piper is the most annoying character. She caused all her own problems.”

"Uh, they all caused their own problems.” Calum shoots back. “They’re in _jail_. They didn’t get in there taking a wrong turn on the way to get groceries.”

“Whatever. Piper’s still annoying.”

Calum looks incredulous at Luke’s own stupidity. “What- this Lorna girl literally broke into some guy’s house-“

"She’s misunderstood!”

“Christ.” Calum leans back, rubbing his temples. “Michael, tell him.”

“Not getting involved.” Michael mutters, only barely listening to their dispute. Mostly because they have pretty much this exact same argument every time they watch Orange is the New Black together, turning into psychotherapists and analysing who could become a better person if they changed their shitty attitude.

No, Michael’s staring at his phone screen, bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he reads a text from Ashton, who’s in the back lounge of their bus.

 

From: Ash

So you’re just going to sit there listening to Tom and Jerry argue? That how you want to spend your night?

 

Michael arches a brow as he replies

 

From: Michael

I don’t see you offering any better ideas.

 

From: Ash

Come to the back

I’m sure we can work something out

 

Michael looks up at the pair, who have lapsed into silence ever since Luke played the next episode. He grips his phone a little tighter in his hand, trying to calm the slight tingle in his palms, spreading over his body. No matter how many times they did this, Michael didn’t think he’d ever get used to it. He sincerely hoped it would stay that way, because he lived for this shit, the excitement, the sneaking around. Ashton smirked at him when he’d relayed this stream of thought to him, one night, under the cover of the darkness. “’M not surprised you get off on doing things you shouldn’t. Should we add this to your list of kinks?"

 

From: Michael

To: Ash

What if Cal and Luke decide to come in?

 

From: Ash

To: Michael

Then I guess we’ll have to give them a show, won’t we?

 

“Uh, I think m’gonna head to bed.” Michael says, pocketing his phone and standing up. “Early night. Long day ahead tomorrow.” Michael turns around to retreat, mentally face-palming for creating a false reason for departure even though no-one fucking asked, heart thrumming in his chest and mouth slightly dry.

He barely gets a collective “’Night,” in response, both boys too occupied with their binge watching. It’s better this way. The more unbothered they are with Michael’s whereabouts right now, the better.

Stepping into the carpeted lounge, Michael swallows as he takes Ashton in, his grey sweatpants and black V-neck. He sits watching the TV, legs spread, phone laying on the coffee table in front of him, like he wasn’t just texting Michael, paying no attention to him, like he’s not the reason Michael is at half-mast right now.

Michael clears his throat. “Hey, dickhead,” he calls, raising his voice on purpose. Ashton turns his head to look at him, eyebrow arched, a small smile on his face.

“How’s my favourite blonde today?”

“Your favourite? Shit, this is gonna be awkward to break to Luke in the morning.”

Ashton rolls his eyes and Michael walks over to him, sitting right in his lap, completely blocking the television from view. His thighs lay open, one knee on each side of Ashton’s waist. Prime grinding position. But does Ashton appreciate his diligence?

“Mikey,” he sighs, finally locking eyes with the blond. “I can’t see.”

Of course not.

“What else would you want to see but me.” Michael pouts.

“You make a good point.” Ashton says drily.

“I even brought my dick.” Michael adds. Ashton’s lips twitch again, fighting a smile.

He loved this. Just some friendly banter between the two of them before they got each other off. No matter how much Ashton annoyed him at times with his refusal to ever rush anything, this was the shit Michael lived for. Ashton setting the pace for both of them, whether they had all the time in the world or not.

“Yeah?” Ashton smiles. Michael stares down into his eyes, pretty and shining in the dark room. He doesn’t even notice him move, just hears the button on the remote being clicked and the TV being turned off. Michael smirks in triumph, just as he feels Ashton rub his large hands over his ass through the baggy basketball shorts he’d stolen from Luke, who would probably insist Michael keep them if he knew what he was about to do in them. Ashton squeezes, hard, and Michael groans, pushing back into his hands. Michael leans into him, slotting their lips together, and Ashton swallows the moan Michael lets out as he rocks him against his thigh, the hardening bulge in his boxers pressed against Ashton.

As he rocks his hips, he feels Ashton thickening beneath him. The older boy’s hands grip Michael’s waist, helping him grind down against him the way he wants it. Michael’s breaths quicken as he rolls his hips against Ashton’s, slow and filthy and so, so good. Ashton licks into his mouth and Michael willingly allows him.

“More,” Michael says; he likes to think that he’s demaniding, but really, he’s just pleading. But if he knows Ashton at all, there’ll be plenty of time for pleading later

“Ashton?” A voice that is neither of them calls. “Hey, you watch this shit too, come out here and tell Calum he’s wrong…” Luke’s whiny voice comes from the front of the bus, and both boys freeze, until they hear footsteps, and then Ashton is picking a frozen Michael up and rolling him over so he’s sitting next to him instead of on top of him. Michael grumbles his distaste at the development, grabbing a cushion and laying it over his crotch as Ashton switches on the TV again. Luke comes in, a frown on his face. His pouty expression turns to confusion when he sees Michael.

“Thought you went to sleep,” He says.

Michael looks at him. “Well obviously I didn’t,” he says as casually as he can.

Luke looks like he’s thinking of saying something else, but decides against it, instead focusing on his petty ongoing argument with Calum. “Anyways so Ash, we need you to be the decider because obviously Calum can’t see what’s right in front of him.”

Michael stifles a groan as he tunes out of the conversation, fixing his eyes on the TV that seems to have won this round.

 

-

 

It may have not been the best decision to stay up until 2 in the morning, which is the time their bus finally reached their hotel for the night, but Michael regrets nothing.

“H-harder, Ashton,” Michael groans, hips pushing back against the older boy for more, a sob stuck in his throat as tears pool behind his shut lids

Ashton isn’t having it.

“Nu-uh,” He breathes, hands gripping Michael’s hips to hold him still, stop him from fucking himself on Ashton’s cock. “Ask for it.”

Michael trembles, knowing that if he could just move, even an inch, the head of Ashton’s cock would press into his spot, make him feel so fucking good – obviously, Ashton knows this too. His grip on Michael tightens, if anything.

"Please,” he whimpers, head slumping against the sheets, ass up for Ashton.

“Not good enough.” Ashton says, stroking a hand down his sweat-slick back, and tugging on his hair, remaining maddeningly still inside of him.

“Please, fuck me harder, fuck, I n-need it,” He stammers, breath knocked out of him as Ashton fucks into him, cock jabbing his prostate head on. His cock leaks against the sheets, and he ruts against them desperately, gasping at the sensation.

“Good?” Ashton’s voice is taunting as he fucks Michael, a note of control remaining no matter how ragged and breathless he sounds. It makes Michael moan as he nods.

“S-so good, love when you hold me down like this and j-just take- just take-“

“Take what’s mine, huh, baby?” Ashton asks, hips slapping against the younger boy. Michael nods desperately.

“Yeah, yours. Yoursyoursyoursyours.” He pants, voice broken, stomach clenching at Ashton’s words. The older man had always been somewhat possessive, but him straight out _claiming_ him like this makes Michael’s heart splutter in his chest. He hears Ashton curse, hips rolling as he comes inside of Michael, filling him. Michael shudders, whimpering as he climaxes, clenching around Ashton.

Coming down, Michael found himself laying on Ashton's muscled chest, too exhausted to even make a leery comment about how amazing Ashton's pecs are.

They lay silent for a few minutes and Michael would have thought Ashton had fallen asleep if he didn't know that Ashton couldn't ever fall asleep that fast. Michael, on the other hand, could pretty much fall asleep on command and is half unconscious when the older boy speaks quietly.

"I think I'd lose my mind on this tour, if it wasn't for you."

Just like that, Michael's eyes snap open again, sitting up slightly to look at Ashton. He blinks, staring at him, but Ashton shows no sign of wanting to take back what he said. He does, however, seem a little anxious that Michael is just looking at him and not saying anything.

"For reals?" Michael chokes out when he finds his voice, immediately wishing he hadn't said anything at all because what kind of shitty response is that. "I mean, if anything, I think Calum's the true backbone of this band's sanity. He's the only one who knows how to make Mac and cheese."

"I'm learning." Ashton defends himself, a small smile on his face despite the stupid things coming out of Michaels mouth. "No, really. Like you're fucking annoying but." He looks at Michael and Michael can't stop the small smile on his face from spreading into a grin. _But _.__

__"It's all part of my charm." Michael assures him. "First I annoy you, then I fuck you. I'm two for three with you and Luke already. Just one to go. I'm thinking of cutting the strings on Cal's base to trigger him-"_ _

__"Oh really?" Ashton raises an eyebrow, and that small action alone wakes Michael up a little more, as well as... other parts of him. "If I wasn't worn the fuck out I'd make you take that back."_ _

__"Jealous?" Michael teases._ _

__"You wish." Ashton murmurs, which is totally a lie and makes Michael smile even bigger._ _

__"'M not gonna lie though." Michael sighs, laying his head back down on Ashton's chest. "You being in this band... It's helped me a lot too."_ _

__Ashton doesn't say anything, just kisses the top of his head and strokes his fingers through it. He does it until Michael falls asleep._ _

__

__-_ _

__

__The next morning, the only real assurance that the previous night even happened is Michael’s slight wince (that he has learned to mask) every time he sits down. Ashton treats him the same as he treats the other half of the band, something Michael had once taken with ease, but now finds himself struggling to handle._ _

__It’s when Ashton calls him “bro” while asking if he wanted a coffee before soundcheck, no irony to be seen in his eyes, that Michael decides that, fine. If Ashton wanted to fuck him into the mattress during the night and then act like they were the best of bros and only that during the day - _fine__ _

__Michael wonders whether Ashton is choosing to leave Michael back at square one with this, or if he’s just clueless._ _

__"Yeah, a coffee sounds great _bro_ ," Michael enthuses. Either Ashton senses his thick sarcasm and chooses to ignore it or he doesn't even notice it at all. From the confused look Ashton throws at him, it's probably just that he has no clue what's up with Michaels weird intonation. Michaels gone and fallen in love with someone who thinks it's perfectly acceptable to call someone you're regularly fucking 'bro'. He knows it's not like they've discussed any specific rules regarding their ... situation, shit, they've barely discussed this at all. But Michael would like to think that there was like, some truth to the things Ashton would say when he was all sweaty and post-orgasmic, especially the things he had said last night._ _

__And now they're back to bro._ _

__

__-_ _

__

__Obviously, Ashton doesn't like Michael even a fraction of how much Michael unfortunately likes him. He'd been dumb to think that he would. Wishful thinking is a killer. But that's okay, it's whatever. Because obviously Michael's nothing special to him. And so obviously Michaels going to do whatever the hell he likes. Because obviously Ashton doesn't care._ _

__If Ashton can fuck around and do a complete 180 whenever he likes and turn into Michaels platonic Bro Dude Friend then Michael can do the exact same thing, it's not a one player game._ _

__So Ashton can stop giving him these- these _looks_ every time he sits a little closer to Luke because he knows good and brilliantly well that deep down he doesn't give a single shit about Michael, not when they're not fucking._ _

__Is Michael allowing his imagination to run wild and exaggerate a little? Maybe! But shit, what the hell else is he supposed to think, when Ashton holds him close and says nice things to him when they're in bed together and then treats him like his frat buddy during the day. _Fuck_ he hates being this whiny but he can't help it he's upset. Ashton's barely said two things to him since they arrived in their dressing room backstage. It's an hour until soundcheck and Michael is not in the spirit of performance and it's all Curly's fault goddammit._ _

__He waits until he can see Ashton staring at him through the corner of his eye to lean his head against Luke's shoulder, nuzzling his head into his neck. Ashton opens the bottle of water in his hands and drinks from it, while Luke says, "Um." Michael exhales and prays that Luke doesn't choose now to run his mouth and say some stupid shit about Michael pretty much being attached to his side all day. "If we're gonna cuddle, I at least want some of your Doritos." Luke nods towards the bag in Michaels hands that he'd forgotten he was even holding._ _

__"What, am I paying you for cuddles now?" Michael rolls his eyes, shoving the bag into Luke's hands._ _

__"You know I'd cuddle you for free." Luke winks at him. "But, Doritos."_ _

__"You're so warm." Michael murmurs, and it's not even a lie. Michael has this theory that the broader Luke gets, the more body heat he generates, even though Calum had assured him that that theory wasn't exactly scientifically sound. Michael had blown a raspberry at him._ _

__"You make me hot babe." Luke replies without missing a beat, unknowingly playing right into Michaels hands._ _

__Michael huffs a laugh and Luke stuffs the chips into his mouth. If Ashton squeezes the bottle in his hands any tighter, it might explode. Michael thinks that that would be a satisfactory thing to happen, right about now. But he just gets up and leaves instead, not sparing either Michael or Luke a second glance._ _

__"What's his deal?" Luke wonders, mouth still full. It was unlike Ashton to storm out of a room. He was a big fan of announcing where he was going, sometimes for no reason, like when he was just going to the bathroom. Basically, Michael gets his confusion but he decides to make Luke feel stupid._ _

__"What dyou mean?"_ _

__"He just..." Luke waves a hand "Left."_ _

__"Shit sorry, didn't know you were the chief overseer of Room Leaving etiquette."_ _

__Luke shrugs his shoulder abruptly to jostle Michaels head. "Shut up. I'm not giving you your Doritos back."_ _

__"Like you were ever going to." Michael rolls his eyes. His mind's already far away, wondering how far he can take this during their show._ _

__

__-_ _

__

__Michael's sweating so badly when he comes off stage, he looks like he's been drenched in water. As soon as they step offstage, and Ashton waits with the rest of the band only long enough for the stage hand to take out his in ear, Michael's heart starts pounding even faster than it had been before._ _

__Calum sighs a little. "Why can't we go one week without someone going through their emo phase?" He grumbles, mostly to himself, watching Ashton walk away._ _

__Luke looks at Michael, curiosity in his eyes. Michael looks away almost immediately, but as soon as they're safely in their dressing room (where Ashton is nowhere to be found), Calum corners him._ _

__"What the hell is going on?" He asks, folding his arms. Michael swallows, staring at the ground, the bitter feeling of regret slowly flooding his system. He'd never exactly been a subtle person, even when he was trying. And tonight he certainly wasn't trying. He'd thrown all caution to the wind, flirted outrageously with Luke, who had of course, being the affectionate person Michael knows him to be, flirted right back. Michael thinks of his hands running teasingly through Luke's hair while he tried to not fuck up a solo, thinks of his fingers strumming Luke's guitar, remembers how he'd spent so much time focused on the younger boy during soundcheck, in a determined effort to not pay Ashton any attention, he'd gotten Muke trending on Twitter. He remembers the look on Michaels face when he'd even just joked about messing around with Luke, the previous night._ _

__"What do you mean?" Michael mumbles._ _

__"I'm not gonna play this shit with you. What's going on?" Calums trying his best to sound a little intimidating, trying to sort the problem out, but he sounds a little whiny and it's easy to see that he's out of his element here. This isn't his thing, or Michael's, or Luke's. Ashton is the one who fixes things like this, who gets them back on track when they've been derailed._ _

__Michael doesn't know what else to say, apart from the truth, which isn't coming out of his mouth any time soon on account of what he's been doing for the last several hours being borderline idiotic. He tries to maintain the childish mindset that Ashton started it but the urge to just give in and have Ashton back in the dressing room, where he belongs right after a show, is stronger than that. He's the one that encourages Michael, that tells him he's done well, that tells him he killed that guitar solo tonight and then pulls up a fans recording of the show on his phone and plays it again for Michael to hear so he can see what he means._ _

__For the very first time, Ashton's abandoning his calculated, methodical manner of dealing with problems. He's storming out of rooms and not speaking and it makes Michael's mouth feel dry because it's _his fault__ _

__"I'm gonna go find Ash." Michael says, and walks out again, feeling his other two band members eyes on his back._ _

__When he's out in the hallway and feels like he can breathe, he walks through the back halls, hoping luck will be on his side for fucking once and he'll randomly stumble across Ashton. Honestly, with the luck he does have, he'll probably find him with someone else, and they'll be standing close together and Michael will have nothing to blame but his own proximity to Luke earlier today. Michael thinks about it, about inexplicably seeing Ashton with someone else and his heart squeezes in his chest._ _

__He's walking past the bathrooms when the door swings open, and Ashton walks out, sparing one glance in Michaels direction before leaving again._ _

__"Ash." Michael forces the word out before he can stop himself, taking a hesitant step in his direction when Ashton stops, turning to face him. At the look on Ashton's face, Michael shuts up, staring at the older boy cautiously. His throat feels like it's closing up, and his hands are literally starting to shake and this is just so fucking wrong because Ashton is meant to be comfort for him and he's fucked it all up._ _

__Ashton looks at him expectantly for a second longer, before starting to leave, and Michael calls, again, "Wait-"_ _

__This time Ashton snaps, "What is it, Michael?" And Michael flinches. Ashton softens a little, taking a deep breath in and letting it out. Michael tries to take some comfort in the familiar technique the older boy used to calm himself downs tariff down at the floor as he thinks of what to say._ _

__"It's just- it felt weird without you there after the show. I..." He trails off, and Ashton makes no attempt to say anything to him and Michael feels like someone's ripped his heart open then poured salt into the wound. He's so fucking _impulsive_ , doing dumb shit without thinking of the consequences and then drowning in regret when they eventually catch up with him. He doesn't know what Ashton wants him to say, doesn't even know how to make it better at this point, so he stand there, not saying anything, until Ashton walks away._ _

__

__-_ _

__

__Ashton's pissed._ _

__Beyond pissed. Michaels done a lot of things in the past, things that have made Ashton angry, that have earned him the silent treatment, but nothing like this. He knows that he doesn't have a claim on the younger boy, that technically they're nothing but friends to each other and Michael can do whatever he likes but Ashton had honestly thought they were over the technicalities. He tries his best, during the day, to keep his distance from Michael and only touch him as much as is strictly necessary because he doesn't want to freak him out, doesn't want to push him into anything he hasn't asked for. And he certainly never asked for anything other than sex._ _

__It's not like Ashton's bitter, it's just that he's kind of wistful, he can't help but think of what they could have. They fit, despite being complete fucking opposites. Ashton brings Michael up when he's down and Michael is able to do the exact same and he loves it and he has grown to hate he fact that he can only feel that when they're fucking._ _

__And then Michael started treating Luke like he was his long-term boyfriend who had just gotten back from tour. Ashton would always defend himself against the allegation that he was the jealous type, but he was 100% the jealous type and he wasn't even ashamed anymore._ _

__There's a timid knock on his door and, judging from the look on Michaels face during their encounter in the backstage halls, it's him. Ashton turns his phone screen off and taps the phone against his knee, thinking about ignoring him. The knock comes again, a little louder, and this time there's a quiet "Ash" following it. Ashton gets up, letting his phone fall on his bed. And pulling the door open. Michael stares at him as the door opens, eyes wide, obviously not having expected Ashton to actually answer him. Ashton watches Michael's gaze rest on his bare chest briefly, before flicking back to his face, then swallowing._ _

__"Yes?"_ _

__Michael actually rolls his eyes at Ashton's tone._ _

__"Can we... I don't know. Talk?"_ _

__"You want to _talk_ now?" Ashton folds his arms, leaning against the doorjamb. "Is that it? Is there anything else you want, Michael, because we all know I'm only here to give you whatever your heart desires."_ _

__Michael takes a breath, shuffling a little on his feet, head bowed. If this was any other situation, where Ashton was less annoyed, he would make a comment about what a sub he was. As it is, Ashton decides to let the younger boy come to that conclusion by himself._ _

__"I'm sorry."_ _

__Ashton steps out of the doorway, back into the room, waiting. Michael glances at Ashton, nibbling his bottom lip unsurely before taking a step into Ashton's hotel room._ _

__Ashton takes a breath, pushing his hair out of his face, and taking Michael in, the way he's standing awkwardly by the door like he's not sure if he's allowed to move. Ashton notes that he's already waiting for instructions, and takes a few slow steps in the younger boy's direction. Putting a finger under his chin, he tilts his head upwards, meeting Michaels gaze._ _

__"I'm gonna go have a shower. When I get back, I want you, on that bed, completely naked." Ashton leans in closer, smirking as he hears Michael gasp softly. "You're gonna jerk yourself off for me. And you're not allowed to come. Understood?"_ _

__Michael shudders, eyes fluttering closed. "Yeah. I- I understand."_ _

__Ashton holds his gaze for a few more seconds before stepping back. "Good," he says, turning and walking into the bathroom, leaving Michael behind._ _

__

__-_ _

__

__When Ashton finally comes back into the room, Michael's splayed out on his bed and wondering firstly, why Ashton is such a sadistic person, and, secondly, why he's such a fucking _sub_. Why he's actually adhering to Ashton's request (demand), his hand wrapped around his throbbing cock, bottom lip nearly bitten raw._ _

__Ashton has a towel wrapped around his waist, and he's completely dry, even his hair, which is a testament to just how long he spent in that bathroom, even after he was done in the shower. Michael had heard the shower shut off at least fifteen minutes ago, if not more. He'd been cock-achingly close for ten of those minutes, and had altered his technique to the lightest of touches as he tried desperately to do as Ashton had told him to and not come before he was allowed. he was just glad Ashton was even speaking to him again, and had hoped, at the least, that his coming to his hotel room and speaking a little more coherently would get the older man to accept his apology at the very least._ _

__This is just an unexpected, extremely welcome bonus._ _

__Ashton watches him for a minute, not speaking, just letting his eyes trail over Michaels naked body, his messy hair, his lips, red from being bitten, his clenched stomach, the sheen of pre-come smeared on his stomach. The way he can't stay still._ _

__"Surely you can do better than that, Michael." Ashton says, and when Michael opens his eyes to look at him again, his facial expression is just a little smug. "Your grips a little loose, and you've barely touched the head at all." Michael opens his mouth to reply and a broken whimper comes out, taking in an unsteady breath before tightening his first a little, working himself a tiny bit quicker. The effect is almost immediate, as he arches off the bed, trying to get away from his own hand, but not stopping. The smug smile on Ashton's face doesn't leave, as he continues, "There now, doesn't that feel better?"_ _

__Michael whines, high in his throat , needing to come so badly that it _hurts_ after being on the very edge for so long. "I can't- can't keep doing this, 'm so so close."_ _

__"Yeah? Why'd you come here Michael?" Ashton murmurs, eyeing him. Michael tries his best to find his words._ _

__"Wanted to apologise, Ash, 'm sorry, I swear." He promises, his voice whiny and breathless._ _

__"And you didn't think it'd end like this? You didn't get into your room and feel restless because you had no one to work off your pent up energy with?" Ashton says, his voice low. He kneels onto the bed. "You didn't come in here just so I could pin you down, fuck you into my mattress?"_ _

__Michael squirms against the sheets, shamelessly moaning at Ashton's words, but determined to tell him that he's wrong, or at least kind of. "N-no, Ash, I just didn't want you mad anymore- fuck, please can I come," he ends up gasping, his thoughts detailed as his cock drips even more pre-come, slicking up his grip even more._ _

__"No." Ashton says, still watching. "You want another chance, want to show me how good you can be?" Michael nods immediately, and Ashton says, "So show me now. Do what I tell you to."_ _

__Michael takes a breath, cock fucking his slick, warm first, and tries to do what Ashton says, tries to be good for him, tries not to think about what was basically Ashton's promise to fuck him tonight, tries not to stare at Ashton's body, still not covered from his shower, at his eyes, daring him to disobey him._ _

__"F-fuck, fuck, Ash, I- I'm gonna, 'm gonna come, I'm-" heat rushes through him, his back arching as he comes, shuddering through it. He pants, come landing on his stomach, his eyes squeezed shut. He contemplates just not opening them again, not wanting to see the look on Ashton's face as he comes down, his own come on his fingers._ _

__"Get on your hands and knees." Ashton says, his voice hard. Michael, taking a deep breath, with heat pooling in his stomach, starts to do as he says. Ashton holds him back, a hand on his hip. "Look at me." He says, and Michael's eyes flutter open to meet Ashton's gaze. He automatically looks away again, and Ashton's fingers nudge his head up in response. "Thought you were meant to prove yourself to me Michael? Did you show me how good you could be?"_ _

__Michael shakes his head, "Ash, I-"_ _

__"Answer me." Ashton cuts him of, siting back and watching Michael expectantly. Michael bites his lip._ _

__"N-no," he says, his voice quiet and shaky. Ashton looks angry, he has since he walked in here, but he also looks disappointed and Michael feels like a fist is slowly curling around his heart. "Ashton 'm sorry, I can be better, I-"_ _

__"Michael," Is all Ashton says, and Michael shuts up and rolls over, sound as Ashton says. He mewls softly as Ashton's fingers stroke through his hair, before gripping tight and pushing his head down to the sheets, his cheek against a pillow. Ashton's warm hands trail down his back, stopping at the swell of his ass and spreading his cheeks gently. "I should spank you, for how you've been behaving lately. 'Till your ass is red and covered in my handprints. But you'd enjoy that, wouldn't you, slut?"_ _

__Michaels breath escapes him shakily, eyes screwing shut as his cock starts to chub up again at Ashton pushing his buttons like this, saying exactly the right things. "I just want to make it up to you."_ _

__"No you don't. You just want to come, chase after your own pleasure, like you just showed me so well." Ashton spanks him, just once, but it's so unexpected it makes Michael groan aloud. Ashton kneads the reddening flesh before allowing two of his fingers to rub against Michaels hole. Michael's cheeks flush even more than they already are as Ashton stops just as soon as he had started, holding completely still. A few endless seconds tick by and, eventually, Ashton pushes two of his fingers in with ease, his suspicions confirmed._ _

__"Did you open yourself up before you came in here?" He asks, voice thick, long digits sinking into Michael slowly. Michael squirms and soon finds Ashton's hand in his hair again, holding him down. Michael groans against the sheets, and Ashton increases his pace, fingering the younger boy faster. "Laid alone in your room, fucked yourself on your little fingers, made yourself come, and _then_ came in here telling me that you're sorry?"_ _

__Michael squirms, cheeks bright red with embarrassment. His cock is starting to ache with how bad he wants to touch, but the knowledge that he'll be in even more trouble if he tries it is clear in his mind. "I just- I couldn't help it, I'm-"_ _

__"Did you think of him Mikey?" Ashton's voice is quiet, hard with sarcasm. "Say his name when you came?"_ _

__Michael shakes his head immediately, pressing back into Ashton's touch, silently urging him to curl his fingers, completely ready to come again. Ashton's voice echoes in his head, the word _slut_ on repeat. He shudders, pre-come dripping from his tip. "No," he says truthfully. "'S you, Ash- _ah_ ," he groans as Ashton adds a third finger, fucking them into him quicker, "'s always you." He promises, because how can it be anyone else, how can he even bother conjuring up fantasies with other people in his head when Ashton's been through each one with him three times?_ _

__"You sure? Didn't think about Luke touching you, turning you into a whimpering mess against the sheets?" Ashton asks, a smirk on his voice at the fact that that's exactly what he's done to Michael._ _

__"Please," Michael whines, pushing back against him again as Ashton begins to slowly curl all three digits, "'m sorry, Ash, I said sorry."_ _

__Ashton pulls his fingers out of the younger boy, who moans in frustration until he feels his cock at his entrance, hard and thick and so very welcome. He whimpers quietly and Ashton starts to fill him, rendering Michael useless against the sheets. He wastes no time, starting to fuck him slowly, a hand curved around his waist to keep him in place. Michaels heart stutters in his chest as his body registers being so full all of a sudden, moaning shamelessly and Ashton thrusts into him._ _

__"Who do you belong to, Michael?" Ashton says, burying his cock in the younger boy and rolling his hips. Michael gasps, panting out his name._ _

__"Y-you, 'm yours," he groans._ _

__"And what's my name?" Ashton demands._ _

__"Ash, _Ashton_ , fuck," he whimpers, a sob building in his throat, but Ashton's still not having it, still isn't satisfied. He winds a hand into his hair, pulling him up a little, speeding up his pace and fucking Michael faster._ _

__"What's that?" He says into his ear, the new angle helping him hit his prostrate with each thrust. Michael's eyes screw shut, all the breath knocked out of him, his stomach twisting with pleasure._ _

__"Ashton," he gasps, his mind a mess, barely able to think as Ashton pounds into him. "Yours, yours, all yours."_ _

__Ashton fucks him faster still, holding Michael so tight that Michael knows he'll be bruised tomorrow, knows that he'll feel Ashton tomorrow, and fucking loving it._ _

__Ashton grunts, "God, you're a mess." He says, as Michael tries to grind against the sheets, tries to seek release in any way he can get it. "We won't be having any more problems with your attitude, will we, baby?"_ _

__Michael shakes his head. "N-no, Ashton."_ _

__"Good boy." Ashton says quietly and the soft praise makes Michael moan aloud, pushes him closer to the edge._ _

__"Ash, Ash, please don't stop 'm gonna come," Michael whines, and Ashton doesn't, knocking Michaels breath out of him with every thrust, until he's losing it, his body shaking as he comes, clenching around Ashton's cock as he blows all over the sheets beneath him, whimpering Ashton's name. Ashton follows not seconds after, the little sounds from the younger boy's mouth tipping him over the edge as he spills into him._ _

__Michael slumps against the bed, completely spent. The muscles in his stomach twitch. Ashton slowly pulls out of him and Michael feels his warm come drip down that backs of his thighs. They both moan softly at that, before Ashton goes to the bathroom, returning in less than minute to clean Michael up, who remains in the same position._ _

__One the younger boy is clean, Ashton slowly rolls him over onto his back, leaning over him to look into his eyes._ _

__"You okay?" Ashton says, voice soft. Michael nods, worry creeping into his chest, worry that by tomorrow Ashton will be back to acting as if this hadn't happened at all._ _

__"Never better." Michael assures him. "But there's still come on my stomach."_ _

__Ashton huffs a breathy laugh, holding Michaels gaze for a few seconds. "And who's fault is that?"_ _

__"Arguably, yours."_ _

__Ashton looks at him for a second longer, eyes trailing over his face with an indecipherable expression on his face. "Michael," he begins, and Michael flinches almost involuntarily, waiting for Ashton to tell him that he's nothing but a bro to him despite the recent location of his dick. "Michael, I... I wasn't kidding when I said that if lose my mind on this tour of I didn't have you. I wasn't kidding at all." Ashton takes a breath before continuing, "I love you. I mean that in every sense of the word, and I know that you might not feel the same way and I don't expect you to but I just want you to know-"_ _

__Michael cuts him off, pulling him in to kiss him hungrily, unable to stop himself from smiling against his lips. Michael licks into the older boy's mouth and Ashton lets him, obviously taken aback by Michaels reaction. When he pulls away, Ashton staring at him, a small smile on his face._ _

__"So... I guess this means you're not disgusted with me then."_ _

__"Ash," Michael says, "I thought you saw me as your bro. I was ready to jump off a bridge."_ _

__Ashton shakes his head, toying with Michaels bottom lip with his thumb. "Don't talk like that. And what part of "you're mine" sounds even remotely bro-ish?."_ _

__"God, I don't know, maybe next time don't treat me like you treat your other non-fuck-buddies."_ _

__Ashton looks at him for a second before signing. "That's an ugly word. I don't want to be your fuck-buddy, I want to be your boyfriend dammit."_ _

__"I want to be your boyfriend too." Michael says, heart swelling. He's at a serious risk of actually crying. "Dammit." He adds, making Ashton smile._ _

__"Okay." He whispers, leaning down to kiss Michael gently. Michael actually does start crying._ _

__-_ _

__"So you're saying that you've sorted all your issues out but you're not going to actually tell us what your issues were?" Calum whines, sitting cross-legged on the sofa in the back lounge, heavily disappointed at the lack of intra-band gossip coming his way._ _

__"That's exactly what I'm saying." Ashton says, putting an arm around Michael._ _

__" _And_ you're a couple now?" Calum confirms._ _

__"And we're a couple now." Michael leans his head on Ashton's shoulder._ _

__"You're welcome." Luke nods at Michael, looking up briefly from his phone which Michael had expected he would at least put down upon the announcement that half of his band have paired off together._ _

__Michael stares at the blond. "For...?"_ _

__Luke giggles. "I'm not stupid. But I'm okay with being used if it's for love, I guess." He shrugs._ _

__"What's going on?" Calum demands, looking like he's about to stamp his foot while Michael reels at the words coming out of Luke's mouth_ _

__"So you're saying you just played along with Michael the whole t-" Ashton is cut off as Luke winks, before getting up and gesturing towards Calum to follow him away._ _

__"They've totally been fucking for years. At like, our third band practice they..." Luke's voice trails as we walks further away, while Michael stares incredulously at Ashton, who just shrugs, a small smile on his face, before leaning in to kiss him._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank u for reading this MESS pls comment or come for me on tumblr @ gonnamuke


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